As an addiction counselor and a licensed counselor, I have long extoled the virtues of the 12-tep recovery program for alcoholics, narcotic and other drug addicts, sex addicts, food addicts, and folks struggling with other addictions. Partly because of the fact that it is an anonymous program, it is difficult to do reliable and valid research on the effectiveness of the programs. My experience as a counselor is that the program is enormously effective for those who:
· Attend meetings regularly.
· Attend meetings for the purpose of getting help for themselves and giving help/support to others.
· Have a sponsor who they frequently contact and meet with and with whom they are open and honest.
· With the help of guidance of their sponsor, work the steps of the 12-step program on an ongoing basis
The sponsor is someone one had chosen to guide one through the process of recovery. One has to be willing to take “good orderly advice.” This means admitting that one cannot trust one’s own thinking in any area of life which is affected by the addicton (usually all areas of life).
Many people I know attend meetings but do not work with a sponsor and do not work on the steps with their sponsor. Many do this work for a time and then quit because they get to a step which seems too uncomfortable. Many are not able to allow themselves to be as honest as they need to be for the step work to be effective.
I have a lot of admiration for those individuals who have had the courage to use the 12-step program to reclaim or possibly for the first time claim the good life that they deserve. Many people have come to the program because they have run out of options or because a judge has ordered them to attend meetings.
Not everyone is able to get the help that they need from AA, NA, SA, Overeaters Anonymous, or one of the other 12-step programs based upon the program originated Drs. Bob and Bill Wilson. What I say to clients or friends is that it does not make any difference what program one uses for recovery or spiritual growth, but one needs a daily program which incorporates all the principles and the steps of the 12-step program. The wording of the steps and principles and the steps for each of the 12-step programs is a little different, but they are essentially the same. I am going to use the wording used by Alcoholic Anonymous (AA) which was the original group. The principles are:
1.The A.A. member conforms to the principles of recovery; at first because he must, later because he discovers a way of life he really wants to live. (Unity) 2. When we come to understand the wisdom of the group decision and the necessity of patiently awaiting developments, the real and permanent leadership of A.A. can offer the quiet opinion, the sure knowledge and humble example that resolves a crisis, leading by example, rather than driving by mandate. (Group Conscience) 3. When confronted by the fear that is the true basis of intolerance, we need only ask, "What would the Master do?" (Membership) 4. Eventually, we must conform to whatever tested principles guarantee survival. Sobriety must be our sole objective. In all other respects there is perfect freedom of will and action. We have the right to be wrong, but we no longer have the right to harm others. (Autonomy) 5. It is the great paradox of A.A. that we know we can seldom keep the precious gift of sobriety unless we give it away. (Primary Purpose) 6. We are all perfectionists who, failing perfection, have gone to the other extreme. We cannot be all things to all men, nor should we try. (Non-Affiliation) 7. We, too, should be self-supporting through our own contributions. Not only is it a responsibility of sobriety, it is essential to our self-esteem. (Self-Supporting) 8. We give freely what has been given freely to us. (Non-Professional) 9. Unless each A.A. member follows to the best of his ability our suggested Twelve Steps to recovery, he almost certainly signs his death warrant. His drunkenness and dissolution are not penalties inflicted by people in authority; they result from his personal disobedience to spiritual principles. (Spirit of Service) 10. We should not back away from our individual responsibility to act as we believe upon the issues of our time, yet self-righteousness should not cause us to enforce our will on others. (Outside Issues) 11. Personal ambition has no place in A.A. There is never need to praise ourselves. (Attraction Rather Than Promotion) 12. The spiritual substance of anonymity is sacrifice. We try to give up our natural desires for personal distinction as A.A. members both among fellow alcoholics and before the general public. We are sure that humility, expressed by anonymity, is the greatest safeguard that Alcoholics Anonymous can ever have. (Principles Before Personalities)
The steps are:
THE TWELVE STEPS OF ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
1.We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
2.Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3.Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4.Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5.Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6.Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7.Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8.Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9.Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Copyright 1952, 1953, 1981 by Alcoholics Anonymous Publishing (now known as Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.)
All rights reserved.
Most people who know me are well aware that I am not shy about learning from or taking advantage of the experience of others. Even though I am not a person who has had to live with an addiction to alcohol, other drugs, sex, power or money, I am certainly a very human person who needs all the help he can get in growing spiritually. My experience is that all of we humans feel that, in some way, we are not enough; that we need something outside of ourselves to either make us enough or to avoid our fear of not being enough. We may use education, drugs, power, money, sex, religions/self righteousness, or some other person, place or thing to fill that void or to keep us away from that void. Thus, in that sense, we are all addicts. Personally, I have used education, busyness, and good works to try to avoid dealing with the belief that I am not enough. Even though the result of using these to fill the void did not cause the obvious damage that some addictive behavior such as alcoholism, does, just like alcohol none of them were ever enough. I, too, have had to come to terms with fact that I was going to have to practice HOW (honestly, open mindedness and willingness) and use some consistent methods for facing my own humanness and growing in acceptance while letting go of the impediments to my growth. I have previously written about my understanding of the HOW of the program. I have also used the format of the 12-step program.
In future blogs I am going to share with the reader how I use each step as an organized way to approach spiritual growth. I also use a lot of other “tools” which include my understanding of the Christian framework, my understanding of the principles of Buddhism, and a lot from other historic and present day teachers. As I said earlier, I have no hesitation in learning from and borrowing from the traditions and practices of others. More recently, I am learning from Muslin friends.
Since there is no 12-step program for the general human condition how does one follow what I suggested are necessary components earlier in this blog? There are no daily meetings although one can attend open meetings of 12-step programs which I have often done. This is, however, how I use the same theoretical base:
· Talk with others working a program of spiritual recovery – church, lectures, books, 12-step meetings
· Use mentors with whom I can be open and honest and who are available to me. I am connected with mentors via phone, mail, text, email, and in personal meetings.
· I write daily and attempt to practice honesty, open mindedness, and willingness. I use the 12-step format when writing.
· I take a daily inventory of how I am doing in applying these steps and principles in all areas of my life.
In my next blog I will share how I use step 1. Step l is:
“We admitted we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable.”
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